You gotta be kidding me!

Tonight you are going to hear two stories that have happened in a couple of the bars in the town that I am currently employed in. Names and location will be omitted for one, privacy reasons, and two, the fact that nooooo one would want their name attached to these stories. One happened to me, one happened to a fellow bartender in town, who was actually my roommate at the time. They will be brief and to the point for length and time’s sake. Take notes from these stories as WHAT NOT TO DO IN A BAR!

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So first story comes from yours truly. It was Christmas break in the small, bleak college town where I work. Students are gone, families in town are off on vacation, seeing other family, things were going slow around the bar. In walk two middle-aged men who I had not seen before, and with the smallness of the town, that was weird. Things are going fine, they each have a few drinks, we are making small talk, no problem. I let the guys know that I have to step away for a second (I had to go potty). I tell the other person working with me, lets call her Sarah, to watch the bar while I take my tinkle. Well Sarah really let me down, because when I come back from the bathroom both of the guys are behind my freaking bar, both pouring themselves shots. Not just any shots, Grey Goose shots. They see me, freak out, drop the bottle of Goose on the floor (it was well over half full), and sprint out the bar. Both left tabs of almost $20 open, and I have not seen them again inside the place. Which is good because their stupid faces will be engrained in my head for probably the rest of my life, and I will definitely not allow them to drink in the place ever again. I was just like…

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This second story is from a friend of mine, we will call him Jim. Jim works at a different bar than me, and his bar offers an All You Can Drink (AYCD) for people to purchase. AYCDs are dangerous beasts that are sure to get out of hand from week to week, but this is a little much. Fast forward to closing time. Jim is sweeping the main areas of the bar, procrastinating, like so many college kids do, to do the nasty past of the night, the bathroom. Usually it is pretty bad he tells me, but this night was like nothing he had ever seen. NOTE* This part is pretty gross but I will try to keep it tame as possible. Jim walked into a horror show when he stepped into the guy’s bathroom. This bathroom is notoriously small, one urinal and one toilet.

“Well the toilet area, which is separated with dividers, was wall-to-wall with sh…[poop] and the entire floor was covered in throw up. Someone had clogged the urinal with napkins along with the sink. It was literally the worst thing I had ever seen,” Jim said.

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Right!? Isn’t that crazy!? Who in the world does stuff like that? What is even more crazy is the fact that no one told him or anyone else that was working that night that the bathroom was a mess. I actually lived with Jim when this happened. I was up late that night studying for a test, darn you procrastination, and boy was he fuming when he got back home. I let him vent to me for a good ten to fifteen minutes. So you are welcome, who ever did those terrible things in the bar that night, I took the venting for you so that you didn’t have to live the shame of what you had done. 

If you wanna read some other crazy stories, check this out. Some of them are pretty wild!

It is not asking much people, just be respectful! And if you walk into a literal sh**show like that, let someone know so they can take care of it!

Until next week my party people!


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